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Synthetic personalities are now feuding, apologizing, and having scheduled meltdowns, and the comments are more invested than ever. Here is a totally serious field guide to the archetypes of AI slop drama—and why fake crises somehow feel more honest than the real ones.
Not all news cycles are created equal. Some trap you for a polite twenty minutes before releasing you back into your life. Others are black holes — dense, inescapable, actively reorganizing your sense of reality while you stare into your phone at 2 a.m. eating cereal straight from the box. 2024 had an unusually high concentration of the second kind, and we ranked them.
From walking barefoot to reverse time to drinking water that allegedly talks to your cells, wellness influencers had an absolutely banner year for pseudoscience in 2024. We ranked the wildest claims so you don't have to spend $300 on a tuning fork.
Somewhere between a sponsored freeze-dried meal ad and a tutorial on filtering your own urine, TikTok's disaster content creators have figured out that the end of the world is actually pretty good for business. We went deep into the doomsday rabbit hole so you don't have to — though honestly, you probably already have.
At some point in the last few years, your social media feed stopped reflecting your interests and started reflecting something darker — a funhouse mirror version of your personality assembled by software that has decided, for reasons it will never explain, to make everything weird. This is an investigation. Also a cry for help.
Streaming was supposed to save us from cable. Instead, it gave us twelve subscriptions, a password-sharing ban, and a rotating library of cancelled shows we were in the middle of watching. Navigate our interactive disaster map and find out which streaming apocalypse scenario is right for you — and whether cable TV is waiting at the end like a deranged ex who still has your Netflix login.